Updated: Jun 23, 2020
I want to heal.
In 2018 and beyond, I want to “get” and keep my life together.
I want to love myself fully.
Not just when I’m doing ok or living up to the standard. I fall apart too much to be this preoccupied with a standard. I don’t care about the standard, I just want to be buttered and unbothered.
Mostly unbothered by the nagging voices in my head that keep saying, “You can’t, stop trying.” Unbothered by the potential for failure and free in the potential of my own creativity.
I am breathing this truth into my life.
Into the universe with intent.
I have a list of daily musts I’m trying to follow:
clean my space
rinse and repeat
I am trying to make these things habit, trying to keep these habits for a lifetime, making self-care a permanent priority on this journey. I have heard that it takes 30 days to make or break a habit and I am hoping to make self care habitual. First, I need to get these basics down. In the most logical sense, I know healing happens with tender love and care but providing that for myself consistently has been a challenge.
I have decided to just stick to this list and do as much of this as I can every day, committing to not beat myself up if I fall short. It’s not been easy but I’m working through it and figuring out how to remain accountable to myself.
Last night I had a lemon tart for dinner and I definitely did not meditate or exercise but I did keep hydrated and moisturized and we laughed a bunch. I am trying to take my wins where I can while also accepting my limitations and pushing myself to rise to the challenge without overwhelming myself.
I’m trying to make room for things like therapy and pain management and I think those things may lead to more success and maybe I’ll be able to add more to this list. For now, I’m taking it slow, getting to know this new me, and staying as buttered and unbothered as possible. I’d love it if you joined me!